


How to Care for a Broken Archangel

by SupernaturallyObsessed



Series: How to Care for a Broken Archangel [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brotherly Bonding, Caring Sam Winchester, Fluff, Hurt Gabriel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Post-Season/Series 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-09-30 14:00:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10164509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturallyObsessed/pseuds/SupernaturallyObsessed
Summary: When a beat up and broken down Gabriel suddenly shows up in the bunker, Sam, Dean, and Castiel have to work together to help him heal. But what happens when one particular member of Team Free Will seems to have a bigger impact on Gabriel’s recovery than the others?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was originally going to post this whenever it was finally finished but decided to post it in chapters instead. Maybe that will help motivate me. Hope you enjoy!

Sam and Dean had been sitting in the bunker’s kitchen eating a breakfast of bacon, pancakes, and scrambled eggs when Gabriel appeared. He looked a little worse for wear and was barely able to mumble “heya, fellas” before he collapsed on the floor. Sam jumped up first, with Dean close behind.

“Gabriel!” The younger hunter said, checking if the archangel was still conscious. “Can you hear me, Gabriel?” When Sam didn’t get a response he turned to his brother. “He’s totally out, Dean.”

“Okay. Well first thing’s first,” Dean said, making sure to stay level headed. “We need to move him. There’s not much we can do for him in here and the concrete won’t be very comfortable when he wakes up.”

“Good point. Let’s take him to one of the open bedrooms,” Sam suggested. Despite his slightly short vessel Gabriel was pretty heavy but with Sam and Dean both carrying him they were able to manage without any issues. At Sam’s direction they took the archangel to a room across the hall from Sam’s. The younger Winchester knew that Dean and Gabriel hadn’t gotten along particularly well in the past but someone needed to be close by so it made more sense for it to be him.

“I’ll go get first aid stuff,” Dean offered once they had the archangel settled on the bed.

“Thanks,” Sam said. While Dean went down to the hospital area Sam removed the angel’s tattered clothes and took a minute to fully assess his injuries. His chest and legs were littered with cuts and some of the deeper wounds were leaking blood and grace.

“What do you think happened to him?” Dean asked when he walked back into the room. In his arms he was carrying a rag, a bowl of hot water, and an assortment of bandages and other first aid supplies that he figured they might need.

“I don’t know,” Sam admitted. He wished he did though. “Could he have been hurt in the fall?”

“Maybe, but he would have had to be alive then,” Dean said, voicing what had been on the minds of both Winchesters. “Plus, if this was from the fall why would he just be showing up now?” Sam had to admit that his brother had a point.

“Why don’t we just take care of his injuries right now?” he suggested. “We can figure the rest out later.” Dean nodded, setting the supplies down and then getting to work.

There were a few cuts on Gabriel’s torso and one on his left arm that the brothers thought were deep enough to need stitches. They weren’t sure if the archangel’s grace was in tact or not, but after a quick discussion they agreed that if he was without his grace the stitches would be necessary and if his grace was working then he could just reject the stitches as he healed. So it wouldn’t hurt.

About an hour later all of Gabriel’s wounds were cleaned, the deeper ones were sewn up, and they were all wrapped for protection. Luckily Gabriel had stayed asleep the whole time which made things a little easier. Sam sighed, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.

“I don’t think I want to meet whoever or whatever was able to do this much damage to an archangel,” he said solemnly.

“Yeah but you know we’ll probably run into them anyways,” Dean answered.

“True.” Sam sat down in the chair that was next to the desk in the room. “Why don’t you call Cas? Maybe he’ll know something.” Dean nodded.

“Good idea. I’ll go do that and bring us back some beers.”

Sam realized that Gabriel would need some new clothes so he he left the room for a minute to grab a spare pair of sweatpants and a zip up sweat jacket. They were a bit too big for the archangel, but it was a lot better than just covering him with a sheet. Dean returned a little while later holding two beers and Sam met him in the hallway outside the room.

“I figured it might be better to talk out here so we don’t wake him,” Sam explained as he took a beer from his brother. “Thanks,” he added. Dean just nodded.

“So Cas said he’s on his way. He was following a possible lead on the Darkness but it wasn’t really panning out anyway so he’s going to wrap up and get here as soon as he can.” Sam took a sip of his beer.

“Sounds good. Hopefully he’ll have a better idea what to do.” They talked a little more before Dean went off on a supply run and Sam grabbed a book and got situated in what had suddenly become Gabriel’s room. He wasn’t sure how long the archangel would be out but Sam didn’t want him waking up alone in a foreign place so he figured he’d take watch duty.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= 

The clock in the room read 2:08am when Gabriel started tossing and turning in bed. Sam had been dozing off but hadn’t wanted to fall too deeply asleep in case something happened. It seemed that even archangels could have nightmares. Sam wasn’t sure if he should wake Gabriel up or just let it blow over. When Gabriel started to thrash and whimper though Sam jumped up and sat down on the bed to try to help.

“Gabriel, wake up,” Sam said, shaking the archangel’s shoulder. “You’re just having a bad dream.” It took a minute for the angel to wake up and, when he did, his eyes shot open and he jerked away from Sam’s hand. Despite the pain Sam knew Gabriel had to be in the archangel sat up and scooched to the corner of the bed and held his knees to his chest in an effort to get away. The movement had to be hurting Gabriel’s injuries but either the archangel didn’t care or the adrenaline was momentarily preventing him from feeling anything. It was clear though from the look in his eyes that he was terrified and confused. Sam held his hands up, hoping to appear less dangerous. “It’s okay, Gabriel. I’m not gonna hurt you. You’re safe now.”

“S-Sam?” the archangel asked, stuttering a little on the word.

“Yeah. It’s me.”

“But…but…how am I…where did you…” Sam didn’t know the fine details of angel psychology but he recognized the warning signs of a panic attack when he saw them.

“I’ll explain everything later. Right now I want you to relax. You were having a really bad dream. Once you’re calmer we can talk. Promise.” Sam reached over and turned on the second bedside lamp to make the room a little brighter. He kept his distance from Gabriel so that the archangel didn’t feel crowded and softly hummed some random tune in the hopes that it would help calm him down. It took a while but finally Gabriel’s eyes looked more focused and his posture relaxed a little. He still had his arms wrapped around his body but his knees had dropped and he had shifted away from the very edge of the bed.

“Hello,” Gabriel said quietly, not making eye contact with Sam.

“Hey,” Sam answered. “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better.” In another situation the response might have made Sam laugh, but the cold, emotionless way Gabriel spoke the words just caused him pain.

“Do you need food or water or anything?” It was a subliminal way to ask about the status of the archangel’s powers and Gabriel likely realized it.

“Um, some water might be good,” Gabriel answered, ignoring the unspoken question. He’d have to address it eventually but he wasn’t ready just then.  


“Okay. I can do that,” Sam answered. “Will you be alright if I leave for a minute?” Gabriel simply nodded and Sam sent him a small smile as he stood up. The hunter walked quietly in the halls down to the kitchen. He took a plastic cup out of a cabinet and filled it with water. “Here you go,” Sam said when he stopped back in the bedroom and handed the water to Gabriel. He noticed that the archangel had moved back to the center of the bed which was a good sign.

“Thanks,” Gabriel said, actually looking up at Sam’s face when he spoke.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Sam sat back down in the chair near the bed. He didn’t want to push but he also didn’t want to ignore what had happened. Gabriel sipped his water as he thought about what to say.

“Could you tell me where I am first?”

“Yeah, of course. You’re in the Men of Letters bunker in Lebanon, Kansas,” Sam explained. “I can’t tell you much about how you got here. You literally just popped into our kitchen. I’m not even sure how you managed that with how heavily warded this place is.”

“Okay,” Gabriel said softly. That cleared up a few things but there were still some holes in his memory. The sudden thought that maybe his memory would never return had the archangel shaking. Luckily Sam’s reflexes were ready and he grabbed the water before it fell and put the cup down on the bedside table.

“I don’t know if you’re actually required to breathe right now but I need you to take a breath for me anyway and try to calm down,” Sam said. He kept his voice as even as possible so he didn’t spook the archangel. “You’re going to be alright. That’s probably hard to believe right now but I need you to trust me.”

“Of course I trust you, Sammy.” The words tumbled past Gabriel’s lips before he had the chance to stop them. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping the hunter wouldn’t focus on what he said. Sam of course did pick up on the admission but could tell that Gabriel was embarrassed by it so he wouldn’t say anything. Not right away at least.

“Okay, then I need you to try and calm down for me.” Gabriel closed his eyes and forced himself to relax. He reminded himself that the Winchesters didn’t like him and he wasn’t truly welcome. His best chance to be allowed to stick around long enough to heal would be to appear sane and not to be too much of a burden.

“I’m fine,” he said a few minutes later. He managed to keep his voice from shaking which was good. “Sorry.”

“Gabe, it’s alright for you to be upset right now,” Sam responded. He knew what hiding problems and emotions looked like. He was a Winchester after all. “I don’t know what happened to you but it was obviously harmful and traumatic.”

“You say that like you care,” Gabriel sneered. The words were harsh but the archangel didn’t have the energy to put as much snark into them as he had wanted to. He knew he probably shouldn’t have argued if he wanted to make a good impression but if there was one thing he couldn’t stand it was fake sympathy. The response took Sam by surprise. 

“I do care, Gabriel. I’m getting the feeling I won’t be able to convince you of that right now though,” Sam tried to explain. He hoped he didn’t sound like he was brushing things off otherwise it would just support Gabriel’s accusation. 

“You’re at least right about that.” The archangel was disappointed in himself for being so broken and vulnerable in front of the younger Winchester and was working hard to put all of his walls back up as quickly as possible.

“Do you want to talk about what just happened?” Sam asked again.

“Not really.”

“Okay. That’s fine. Do you want to try to go back to sleep then? It’s still pretty early and rest will probably help you heal.”

“I guess so,” Gabriel said, trying to sound nonchalant. He didn’t really want to fall asleep again and risk having more nightmares but the prospect of having to spill his guts to Sam seemed worse. Sam leaned over and turned off one of the bedside lamps but left the other on still so it wasn’t totally dark.

“Would you prefer if I stayed here or if I got out of your way?” Sam asked. He wasn’t sure what the best course of action was.

“You don’t have to stay up and watch me sleep.” It wasn’t really an answer to the question but Sam wasn’t going to push.

“Alright,” the hunter said as he stood up. “My room is right across the hall if you need anything. Don’t worry about waking me up. Okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Sam turned and walked out of the room. As he was closing the door behind him he was pretty sure he heard a faint ‘thank you’ come from inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! While I have some of the plot figured out I don't completely know where this is going. If you have ideas of scenes you'd like to see let me know and I might just use them!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't as long as I was originally planning but I didn't want to keep you guys waiting any longer.

Sam didn’t wake up again until his alarm went off at 7:30. He hoped that was because Gabriel had stayed asleep and not because he had suffered in silence. Instead of checking on the archangel right away Sam decided to get some food for him first. He got out of bed and changed his clothes and then walked quietly to the kitchen. He still wasn’t sure yet if Gabriel’s powers were working or not but figured food couldn’t hurt either way. The hunter quickly whipped up a bowl of oatmeal and added in some maple syrup and brown sugar for sweetness. He picked up the bowl and a glass of apple juice and went back to Gabriel’s room.

“Hey, Gabe,” Sam said, peeking his head into the room. When he saw the archangel was awake and sitting up in bed he opened the door the rest of the way. “How are you feeling?” Gabriel shrugged.

“Okay, I guess,” he answered. “Have some pain and stiffness though.”

“I don’t know if they’ll work on you but I can get you some pain medications after you eat something.” Sam put the juice down on the bedside table and handed the oatmeal to Gabriel.

“You…you made me food?”

“Um, yeah,” Sam said, suddenly feeling awkward. “I wasn’t sure what you liked but I figured oatmeal was pretty basic. Don’t worry, I added in brown sugar and maple syrup.” Gabriel was surprised and didn’t know what to say in response. He didn’t understand why Sam would have gone out of his way to make him food. “Is it okay? I can make you something else. I guess I should have asked first.”

“No. No, this is fine,” the archangel answered quickly. The last thing he wanted to do was look ungrateful. Gabriel took hold of the spoon Sam had brought and started to eat. “This is good,” he said, unable to hide his surprise.

“Are you surprised because you didn’t think I knew how to cook or because it’s oatmeal?” Sam asked with a chuckle. Gabriel wasn’t sure how he was supposed to answer that but he didn’t have to because Sam continued talking before he got the chance. “Well I’m going to go get myself some breakfast. I’ll come check in later. Need anything before I go? I can get those pain pills I mentioned.”

“No. I’m fine.”

“Alright. Just shout if that ever changes.” Sam gave a small smile and then left the room and went back into the kitchen. When he got there Dean was already at the table eating a bowl of cereal.

“Heya, Sammy,” he said, looking up from his magazine. “How’s the patient?” Sam took out another bowl and poured some cereal for himself.

“He’s doing alright. I made him oatmeal so he’s eating that right now.”

“You got the pixie with a giant sweet tooth to eat oatmeal?” Dean asked as he started to laugh. Sam laughed along with his brother.

“I used brown sugar and maple syrup. I think that’s why it was okay.”  


“Did you stay with him all night?”

“No.” Sam ate a spoonful of cereal. “He had a nightmare around two. I helped him through that as well as I could and then he said I didn’t need to stay so I went back to my room.” 

“Well if he’s still able to be sassy that’s probably a good sign,” Dean teased.

“When’s Cas supposed to be getting here?”

“Soon actually. He called again a little bit ago and said he should be here around ten.”

“Cool. Hopefully he can help.” The brothers finished eating and quickly cleaned up.

“Think we should check Gabe’s bandages? He was bleeding pretty heavily so some of them may need to be changed already.” Dean said and Sam nodded.

“Good point. Plus I told him I’d check back in after I ate anyway.” He put away the clean bowls and led Dean down the hallways to Gabriel’s room.

“Yo, Gabe. How’s it going?” Dean asked as way of announcing himself. He realized he actually hadn’t seen the archangel since he’d woken up.

“Hello, Dean,” Gabriel said, a little uncertainly. He and the older Winchester hadn’t necessarily been on the best terms the last time they had talked.

“Was the oatmeal alright?” Sam asked as he walked into the room past his brother. He wasn’t sure how well the two guys would get along and wanted to make sure he was around to shut down any head banging.

“It was great. Thank you, Sam.” Dean sat down in the chair Sam had occupied the night before and Sam leaned against the corner of the bed. The older hunter noticed the bowl and glass on the bedside table were both empty so he assumed that meant Gabriel had ate whatever Sam brought him which was a good sign.

“We wanted to come see how you were doing and check if any of your bandages needed to be replaced,” Dean explained.

“I’m sure it’s all fine. Don’t waste your time on me,” Gabriel answered quickly.

“Dude, you popped into our kitchen all beat up and bleeding,” Dean said. “We’re going to make sure you’re okay.” Gabriel didn’t have the energy to argue just then and he knew it would be pointless anyway since he was outnumbered.

“What do you need me to do?” the archangel asked.  


“Why don’t you go get the first aid stuff, Dean and I’ll help him get settled,” Sam suggested. He got the vibe the archangel was more comfortable around him so he’d try to use that to help as much as possible, meaning having Dean help him get undressed was out of the question.

“On it.” Dean stood up and went to grab the supplies they would need and Sam turned his attention back to Gabriel.

“I doubt you’re going to like this but I need you to take off your jacket and sweatpants,” Sam said apologetically.

“Any excuse to get me out of my clothes, huh?” The words were clearly a joke but Sam could tell Gabriel was still a little nervous.

“I promise I’ll keep things professional,” Sam replied with a smile. 

Dean got back just as Sam had finished helping Gabriel get ready. The brothers checked each of the bandages and replaced the ones that had gotten messed up. They also noticed that the archangel had pulled a few stitches during his early morning panic. It didn’t seem bad enough to put him through the pain of getting stitched up while conscious though so they let it be.

“Things are looking pretty good overall,” Dean said honestly. “You do seem to be healing faster than normal so that means your grace must be working at least some what.”

“I’m not completely sure what state my grace is in but I know that I still have it,” Gabriel finally explained. “I’m not human.” Just then the men heard a loud banging on the front door. It was good that sounds in the bunker tended to echo.

“That should be Cas. I’ll go let him in.” Dean hopped up and quickly left the room.

“Castiel is here?” Gabriel asked. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah he’s been doing alright,” Sam answered. “Here, let me help you get dressed again. I’m guessing you don’t want your brother seeing you in your boxers,” he teased. The archangel made a face and Sam laughed. If Gabriel was well enough to get grossed out at that prospect then maybe thing were better than Sam had originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! This is still a work in progress and I don't totally know where the story is going but I'll try to post more soon!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys. I know this chapter isn't super long but I didn't want to wait longer to update. The plot will start getting thicker next chapter!

Castiel stayed in Gabriel’s room for a while and the Winchester brothers gave them privacy. While the angels talked the humans the humans sat in the library, hoping to find any more information about angels that could be helpful. By the time Cas came out to sit with them they hadn’t made any progress though.  


“Thank you for caring for my brother,” Castiel said softly.

“Of course,” Dean replied. Cas gave him a disbelieving look. “What? Just because the pixie gets on my nerves sometimes doesn’t mean I’m gonna dump him outside when he shows up hurt.” Cas nodded and Sam just barely managed to hide his smile.

“How is Gabriel doing?” Sam asked. He figured it might be smart to change the subject before his brother started complaining about chick-flick moments.

“He is doing well given the circumstances,” the seraph answered. “He’s sleeping right now.”

“Can you tell anything about the state of his grace?” Sam felt bad asking behind Gabriel’s back but it was an important question.

“He does still possess his grace," Castiel began. “It seems, however, to be weakened or locked away somehow.”

“So he’s not quite human but not really an angel either?” Dean asked, wanting to make sure he was following. The angel nodded.

“That is how it appears. I do not think he will experience hunger or most other human needs but he cannot heal instantly and his flying is extremely limited,” Castiel explained further. The three of them sat quietly for a minute before Sam spoke up.

“What can we do to help?” he asked.

“What you’ve done so far has been good. Give him time to heal and try to be prepared for other needs that might arise.”

“Right, because we always operate an archangel hospital and know exactly what to do,” Dean said sarcastically.

“This is the safest place for him right now,” Castiel responded. His voice was gravelly and it was clear that he was exhausted.

“We understand, Cas,” Sam cut in. “We’ll do what we can.” Dean nodded, although he didn’t look like he agreed completely.

“Cassie?” a timid voice called from down the hall.

“Is he alright?” Sam asked. He didn’t know the reason but he hated hearing Gabriel sound so broken.

“I’ll go see what he needs,” Castiel said as a way of answering the question. He gave a slight nod and then stood up and walked to Gabriel’s room. “Hello, brother. How are you feeling?” The archangel shrugged.

“I’m already tired of being stuck in this bed.” It wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t the whole truth either. He was embarrassed about his show of weakness before though so he didn’t want to complain and risk looking any more pathetic. 

“Perhaps we can take you into another room soon but for now you should stay here and continue to heal.”

“I’m fine. I don’t need you all dotting on me,” Gabriel said petulantly. “I may be injured but I’m not some weak little fledgling.”

“We are not in heaven anymore, brother. No one will judge you for taking a break when you’re so heavily injured.”

“Whatever you say, Cassie,” Gabriel said. He wasn’t in the mood for that conversation.

“Was there a reason you called me?” Castiel asked in an effort to change the topic.

“It was nothing.” He’d had another nightmare but now that he was awake he didn’t want to admit to it.

“Alright, brother. I’ll talk to you later then. Would you like some books or something?”

“Sure. Guess I need something to do if I’m going to be stuck here.”

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= 

After a couple of days the Winchesters let Gabriel move around a little so long as he was careful. The archangel still hadn’t talked about what happened to him. The brothers were trying not to push but the curiosity and tension were building. About a week after Gabriel showed up Dean confronted Sam about the situation.

“How long are we gonna let him stay here without telling us what happened?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know,” Sam answered honestly. He had mixed feelings. He wanted to know what was going on but he didn’t want to force the archangel to talk. “If we push Gabriel too much he might never open up.”

“Maybe but if someone or something is out there that can hurt an archangel that bad we need to know about it.” Sam thought for a moment and then nodded.

“Alright. We’ll talk to him after dinner.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean confront Gabriel to find out what happened to him between Elysian Fields and him showing up in their kitchen a week ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the nearly two week wait, guys. Hopefully this plot-filled chapter makes up for it!

Just like Castiel had guessed, Gabriel didn’t need to eat. Sometimes though he would join the boys at the table for a meal which he agreed to do that night.

“How are you feeling?” Sam asked the archangel. Gabriel wasn’t sure how best to answer that question. He figured if he sounded too healed the Winchesters would send him on his way. Alternatively, if he sounded too hurt they might kick him out.

“Still sore but I’m okay, I guess,” Gabriel said. He hoped that was a good middle ground response to the younger Winchester’s question. Sam raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

The rest of the meal continued normally. Both the humans and the seraph exchanged small talk. The archangel commented occasionally but mostly stayed quiet. He hadn’t talked much over the past week which was concerning. Once the food had been eaten and the dishes had been washed the four men went to the lounge. Sometimes they would watch television together but Sam and Dean had another idea that night.

“So, Gabriel, would you care to finally tell us what happened to you?” Dean asked once everyone was settled.

“Dean,” Sam chided when he saw Gabriel flinch. He had agreed to sit down and try to talk with the archangel but he hadn’t been planning to be quite as blunt as his brother.

“It’s okay, Sam,” Gabriel said quietly. “I do owe you all an explanation.”

“You don’t owe us anything. You don’t have to talk yet if you don’t want to.” Dean rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything.

“I know,” the archangel answered. “But I’ve gotta talk sometime. Might as well do it now.” He shifted in his armchair and took a deep breath before he started. “Alright. So the last time I saw you boys was at Elysian Fields. Once you left I faced off with Lucifer and managed to trick him into thinking I was dead. The full explanation is too complicated for a human to understand but essentially I locked away part of my grace. When I was stabbed only part of my grace was destroyed which was enough of a blow to put me out of commission for a while but not enough to truly kill me.” Gabriel paused there to make sure his audience was following along.

“Can you replenish your grace?” Sam asked when he met Gabriel’s gaze.

“Seraphs can’t but archangels can to a certain extent. We need to have enough grace left to work with though.”

“So you guys are like heavenly starfish basically,” Dean added.

“That’s mildly insulting but I admit it’s rather accurate,” Gabriel answered. He looked over at Castiel but the seraph was continuing to listen silently.

“So what happened next?” Sam asked to nudge the conversation along before the momentum stopped.

“As soon as I was conscious I used what power I had to transport myself to one of my safe houses where I promptly passed out. Archangels have more power over their grace but that means we can’t function as much without it.” Gabriel stopped for a moment to think. “I was totally out of it for almost a year.”

“A whole year?” Sam cut in, surprised. He’d assumed Gabriel hadn’t actually died but he never would have thought the archangel would have been that badly injured.

“Give or take. That particular safe house is in a pocket dimension. So I’m not entirely sure how much time had passed out here,” Gabriel explained. “But anyway, once I woke up I was still pretty weak so I stayed in that dimension to lay low for a while.” He had also been moping because, whether it had been successful or not, the fact that his brother had tried to kill him was an emotional blow. There was no way he would admit that to the Winchesters though.

“So that gets you to 2011 or 2012,” Dean said. “What happened between then and 2014 when Cas saw you? Was that even really you?”

“That was me, and I’m getting to that,” the archangel said. He sighed and closed his eyes. Talking about this was harder than he had expected. “As I was saying, after I woke up I hung around for another eighteen months or so. Recovering grace like that is a long and often uncomfortable process. Once I was back to normal, or at least as much as I would be for a while, I left my safe house and started to explore what was happening back on Earth. Like I said, I wasn’t sure exactly how much time had passed outside but I assumed it had been a while. I spent some time going around getting reacquainted and trying to learn what all had happened while I was MIA. That was when I ran into Metatron.”

“So you were working for him?” Castiel asked, finally speaking up. There was no accusation in his tone though. Just curiosity. He wasn’t sure how the Winchesters felt but he still trusted his brother. They had been close centuries before. He would wait until Gabriel had shared the full story before passing judgement.

“Yes,” Gabriel admitted, “but at first he was a lot nicer than he turned out to be.” Castiel nodded. If anyone could understand that feeling it was him. He had also wrongly trusted the scribe once. “I didn’t trust him completely of course but I figured he was a safe bet for someone to fill me in on what I had missed. Getting information turned into some general chatting which turned into us doing some small missions together which slowly turned into him taking me captive. He’s sneaky, I’ll give the bastard that much.” It was clear the archangel wasn’t enjoying admitting to his own weaknesses so everyone stayed quiet, even Dean resisted from rubbing things in. “I’m not even entirely sure how he ended up trapping me. It was high end spell work that I’ve never seen before. He did something to sort of secure my grace to his though. That’s the best way I can think to explain it.”

“He must have found the spell on the Angel Tablet,” Castiel theorized.

“Wait he got his hands on the Angel Tablet?”

“Yeah. Used it to knock all the angels out of Heaven,” Sam explained. At Cas’ hurt look he gave an apologetic shrug.

“That would likely explain it then,” Gabriel admitted. “I’ve never read it but I’m sure there are lots of things on there Dad didn’t want getting into the wrong hands. He kept me captive for a while but wasn’t as harsh as I would have expected. Made me do shit for him though, like when I visited Cassie, here. Then all the sudden, about three years later, I was free. Metatron was nowhere to be found but I could tell when I had full control of my grace again. I disappeared as quickly as I could and started searching for somewhere safe. Once I found out you guys were alive I made my way to you. Got a bit beat up along the way though, both from Metatron and from some others I ran into along the way.”

“Huh,” Dean said, thinking over Gabriel’s story.

“If he secured your grace to his, would you have been released if he lost his grace?” Sam asked, figuring out the connection.

“Yeah, that would probably do it.”

“We took his grace in March or April of 2015,” Sam said.

“That’s when I was released,” Gabriel responded. “So that explains it.” He was happy to have the answer to a question that had been bugging him for a couple of months. The archangel shuddered as he released a sigh. Drawing up all of the old memories had been painful.

“Thank you, Gabriel,” Sam said earnestly. He could tell Gabriel was drained from his confessions. “Why don’t you get some rest? We can all talk more and figure out some fine details later.” The archangel simply nodded before standing up and walking quietly towards his room.

“Now what?” Dean asked once he was sure Gabriel was out of ear shot.

“I’m going to make sure he’s okay,” Sam answered. “He’s been through a lot. We’ll figure out the rest later.” He stood up and gave a slight wave to his brother and their resident angel. “I’ll talk to you both later.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the wait guys. I've finished finals and moved back home though so hopefully that means I can start getting updates out faster for you. Enjoy! :)

When Gabriel didn’t show up for breakfast the next morning Sam let it be. Things had been stressful and he wasn’t going to push the archangel again so soon. When Gabriel still hadn’t left his room by lunchtime, however, Sam was a bit concerned.

“Should I go check on him?” the hunter asked, looking up from the book he had been reading at the library table.

“I think he’s alright, Sam,” Castiel answered, continuing his work. He had recently started helping the Winchesters translate some books written in difficult, bizarre languages. “He is not used to showing things he considers to be weaknesses. Sharing his story with us last night, even if he didn’t go into much detail, likely took a lot out of him.”

“Yeah that makes sense. I’ll leave him alone for right now then I guess,” Sam said. He wanted to know that Gabriel was okay but he’d trust Castiel’s knowledge. “Maybe I’ll go out for a little while. We could use some food and supplies.” He’d barely left the bunker for the past week. Some fresh air would do him good.

“That sounds like a good idea. I will check on Gabriel a little later.”

“Alright. I’ll go get my stuff. Do you need anything, Cas?” Sam knew Dean was off in his room having a Netflix binge so wouldn’t even bother asking him.

“No, I’m fine. Thank you.” Sam nodded and walked to his room to grab a jacket before he went to the garage for the Impala. Castiel kept translating to finish the section he was on and then went off to check on Gabriel. He knocked on the door to announce himself before entering the room. “How are you feeling, Gabriel?”

“I’ve been better,” the archangel answered honestly. He was sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard and reading a book Sam had brought earlier. 

“Sam was worried about you.” Cas wasn’t sure if that information would make his brother feel better or not but he decided to share it anyway. Gabriel bit back his laugh.

“Yeah, I doubt that.” Castiel squinted his eyes and tilted his head a little; something he did when he was confused.

“What reason would I have to lie?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Gabriel said with a shrug. “Trying to make me feel more welcome I guess?”

“You are welcome. I do not need to lie to tell you that.”

“Say what you want but I don’t believe you. I’m not blind. I know how Sam and Dean feel about me and it’s completely justified. I’ve been a royal ass to them in the past.” Castiel sighed.

“I don’t think they are nearly as opposed to you and your presence as you think but I will not get into a fight with you, brother.” He moved out of the doorway and sat down on the edge of the bed. “I believe Dean told me they could remove your stitches today,” Castiel said to change the conversation.

“Good. They’ve been starting to itch.”

“Sam went out but when he returns I’ll ask them to take care of that then.” Gabriel nodded his thanks. 

“Is that all you had to tell me?” deep down the archangel didn’t want to push his brother away but he still felt uncomfortable and out of place in these types of situations. Castiel nodded and stood back up.

“Yes. Can I get you something to eat or anything?”

“I think I’m alright for now.”

“I will see you later then, brother. You know how to contact me if you need something.” With that the seraph walked out of the room and quietly closed the door. He sighed again as he walked back to the library to continue translating. It seemed Gabriel’s wounds ran even deeper than he had originally thought.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

“Hey, Gabriel,” Sam said when he entered the room about an hour later. “How would you feel about getting those stitches out?”

“Sounds good,” the archangel answered. He’d been hating having the stitches in because they were a constant reminder that his grace was damaged. He was an archangel. He shouldn’t need any of these human remedies. “What do I need to do?”

“Just take off your shirt and lie down on your back,” Dean said. “Nothing major. We should be able to get this done pretty quickly.” Gabriel didn’t say anything and just pulled his shirt over his head and shifted down so he was laying how Dean wanted. At least modesty wasn’t an issue for him.

“So there are a few ways we can do this,” Sam said as he walked into the room and dropped his supplies on the desk. “We can have Cas try to knock you out with angel mojo, I can give you some human anesthesia or pain meds, or we can just grin and bear it.”

“How much will it hurt?”

“Probably less than getting the cuts in the first place hurt,” Dean cut in before Sam could give a more eloquent answer. Sam shot his brother a look but didn’t say anything.

“I can just handle it,” Gabriel said. “Hard to know how Cassie’s grace or your medicine will interact with my grace.”

“Alright,” Sam replied. “We’ll start with the three on your chest ‘cause they’ll hurt more. Then if you want to take a break before we do the one on your arm we can.” Sam sat down on the edge of the bed and got to work. Gabriel grit his teeth and tried to make as little noise as possible. Comparatively the pain wasn’t that bad but it was a sensitive area and a strange feeling as well.

“You’re doing great, Gabriel,” Dean said when Sam had finished with two of the cuts. The older Winchester felt a little out of place just standing around but someone needed to be there in case anything happened and Sam needed help.

“Hey, Dean, could you pass me the finer tweezers?” Sam asked without looking up. “These stitches are a little tighter together.” Dean grabbed the tool from the desk and placed it in Sam’s outstretched hand. “Thanks.” He finished with the cuts on Gabriel’s chest and sat back a little to wipe the sweat from his forehead. “How are you feeling, Gabe?”

“I’m alright,” the archangel said, meeting Sam’s gaze.

“Do you want me to do the last one now or do you need a break?”

“Just get it over with.” Sam nodded and started on the last cut. It was longer than the ones on Gabriel’s chest so it took him a little longer to get all the stitches out.

“Okay. I’m done,” Sam said. “I’ll leave some cream here and you should put that on a two or three times a day for the next few days. Once your grace is back at full power I know you’ll be able to heal everything but for now it can’t hurt to use the cream.” Gabriel sat up and put his shirt back on.

“Thank you,” he said quietly. He hated being indebted to people.

“No problem.” Sam stood up and gathered everything he had brought in. “We’ll leave you be for now. Think you’ll want to join us for dinner?”

“Sure. I can do that.” Sam smiled.

“Great. I’ll see you later then. Holler if you need anything.” The three men left the room and closed the door. 

“I’m gonna go wax the car,” Dean said.

“Alright.” Dean headed off to the garage and Sam started walking to the medical area with Castiel following him.

“Sam, may I speak with you about something?” the angel asked.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Sam put the gauze and alcohol pads back in their spots and then went to the sink to clean the metal tools.

“I am…concerned about Gabriel.”

“What happened? This morning you said you thought he was doing well.”

“I spoke with him when you were out shopping and he didn’t believe me when I told him you were worried about him or when I said that he was welcome here. It seems he believes you are both still mad at him for things he did to you in the past.” Sam sighed and turned off the water.

“I’ve definitely moved past that stuff and I’m pretty sure Dean has too but it’s not like we ever got a chance to tell him that.” He dried everything and placed it back in the cabinet. “What should we do?”

“I’m not sure. If we say anything to him directly he will probably become closed off. I saw him start to do that to me this morning. Perhaps we can all just try to show him somehow that we care and will not turn him away.”

“That makes sense. I’ll talk to Dean later so he’s aware of it.” Sam turned off the lights on his way out of the medical area. “Want to help me make dinner?”

“I’d be happy to,” Cas answered. He wasn’t always the best cook but he had been trying to learn.

“Cool. I’ll see you later then. I have some work to do on my laptop.” Castiel nodded and headed to his own room. He knew how caring Sam and Dean could be in the right situation. Hopefully it would be enough to help Gabriel.


	6. Chapter 6

“What do you guys think about having movie night?” Sam asked when they started cleaning up from their lasagna dinner. Gabriel hadn’t said much during the meal but he had cracked a quiet joke or two. The archangel in question shook his head.

“I don’t know. I should…uh…” he started to protest.

“Come on, Gabe. You’ve stayed locked in your room for most of the last week,” Sam said with a smile. “I think you can spend a couple hours watching a movie.” Cas had said Gabriel didn’t feel like part of the group. Maybe inviting him to hangout with them would help. When the archangel didn’t say anything Sam turned to Castiel and shot the seraph a pleading look.

“I tend to find these movie night’s to be quite enjoyable, brother,” Castiel said. “You should join us.”

“Fine,” Gabriel conceded with a huff. “But there better be snacks.” He turned and headed to the lounge area the Winchesters had set up.

“Thanks, Cas,” Sam said with a chuckle. He went back to the sink to continue washing the dishes.

“I’ll make the popcorn,” Dean added.

“Actually, Dean, can you go check on Gabriel?” Sam asked. “I’ll take care of the snacks.”

“Why do I have to be on babysitting duty?”

“Please? I want use to all be interacting with him. It might help.”

“Alright, alright,” Dean said. In truth, although the trickster archangel still annoyed him sometimes, Dean had started getting used to having him around. Plus, after everything Dean himself had experienced he didn’t have room to judge anyone’s PTSD.

“Thank you.” Dean just waved a hand and grabbed four beers before going to the lounge.

“Hey, man. How’s it going?” Dean asked, putting the bottles on the coffee table. “Snacks will be here soon.”

“I’m fine.” Gabriel had claimed the armchair which left the couch for the other three men. Dean made a mental note to pick up another used armchair the next time they saw one.

“You sure? You’ve been through a lot recently.” Dean plopped down on the couch and cracked open one of the beers.

“I said that I’m fine, Winchester.”

“Okay, man. Sorry. Just wanted you to know you can talk to me if you want to.”

“Yeah, right. I know you don’t do emotional stuff, Deano. You don’t need to pretend to care.” Dean sighed.

“I may not be as outwardly emotional as Sammy but that doesn’t mean I don’t get it,” the hunter explained. “And I’ve been there, you know? Not your exact position obviously but after hell, purgatory, and being a demon I get how hard it can be to adjust back to normal sometimes.”

“Everything alright in here?” Sam asked, walking into the room before Gabriel had a chance to respond to Dean’s confession.

“We’re good, Sammy,” Dean answered. Cas and Sam put popcorn and some other snacks they had found on the table.

“Who’s turn is it to pick the movie?” They ended up making a group decision; agreeing on a lighthearted action film that had something they’d all enjoy. The movie was good and everyone, even Gabriel, seemed to relax a little.

“Gabe, do you…” Sam trailed off when he noticed that the archangel was sound asleep in his chair. The credits were rolling and Dean and Castiel had already gone to their rooms. Or possibly the same room. Sam wasn’t sure.

The hunter smiled as he watched the steady rise and fall of the archangel’s chest. Gabriel looked more peaceful than he had since appearing in the bunker. Hopefully that meant they were making some progress. Sam grabbed a blanket that was draped over the back of the couch and carefully spread it over Gabriel.

“Thanks for not cleaning up at all, Dean,” Sam said under his breath. He rolled his eyes and set about cleaning up the room. When Sam was in the kitchen washing out the popcorn bowls he heard Gabriel call out. The hunter quickly turned off the sink and rushed back to the lounge.

“No. Stop. Please. I haven’t done anything to you,” Gabriel shouted as he thrashed around.

“Gabriel…hey…hey…shhhhh.” Sam knelt down in front of the armchair. “It’s okay. It’s just a dream. You’re safe.” He noticed Gabriel’s hands were balled into tight fists and loosely gripped them before the archangel could hurt himself.

“Make it stop,” Gabriel pleaded. 

“It’s over, Gabriel. Whatever you’re seeing it’s not real anymore. Come on, Gabriel. Wake up.” Gabriel gasped and sat up straight in his chair.

“What happened?” he asked as he looked around, clearly confused. Sam dropped Gabriel’s hands so he didn’t feel trapped.

“You fell asleep near the end of the movie. Dean and Cas already turned in for the night. I was cleaning up when I heard you having a nightmare,” Sam explained.

“You must think I’m such a baby.”

“What? Gabriel that's not what I think at all,” Sam insisted.

“Of course it is,” Gabriel growled. “A big, strong, all-powerful archangel who keeps having stupid nightmares. What else could you be thinking?”

“I’m thinking that you’ve gone through a traumatic experience and are feeling some aftershocks from it. That’s normal.”

“Whatever.” Gabriel threw off the blanket and stepped around Sam to get out of the chair. “Thanks for the fun night. I’ll see you in the morning.” He turned and walked out of the room but stopped suddenly in the doorway. “Goodnight, Sammoose,” he added softly.

“Good night, Gabe.”

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

“Wait, Cas. You need to grease the pan first.” Dean said with a chuckle. He’d been trying to teach the angel how to cook. This time they were making pancakes to have for breakfast. At least Dean hoped they were making pancakes. He wasn’t sure yet if it would be a successful endeavor.

“Oh. That is what the Crisco is for?” Castiel asked.

“Well I’d use bacon grease but Sam made me buy vegetable shortening so, yes, now we use Crisco,” Dean answered with an eye roll. He showed Cas how to get the pan ready and then how to pour the pancake batter. Dean took care of adding blueberries to some of the pancakes for Sam and chocolate chips to others for Gabriel. He and Castiel would just have regular ones.

“My apologies, Dean,” Cas said when he accidentally bumped into the hunter when attempting to flip one of the pancakes.

“It’s okay, Cas,” Dean said, playfully nudging him back.

“Am…uh…am I interrupting something?” Gabriel asked quietly from the doorway. It was clear from his expression that he felt a little uncomfortable. He wanted something to eat though and all of the food was in the kitchen.

“No. No, not at all,” Dean said, taking a step back from Castiel. “Pancakes should be ready in a few minutes if you’re hungry?” Gabriel paused on his way to the table.

“You…you made me breakfast?”

“Yeah, man. Of course,” Dean replied as he turned to look at the surprised archangel. “You do live here.”

“Oh. Uh…thanks?” Gabriel wasn’t accustomed to people doing things for him without expecting something in return. 

“Sweet, pancakes,” Sam said as he walked into the kitchen. He went to the fridge and poured himself a glass of orange juice. “You want something to drink, Gabriel?”

“I’ll have some juice too,” the archangel said, moving to sit down at the table.

Sam smiled and poured another glass of juice. Things felt very relaxed and domestic and the hunter couldn’t help but wish for them to stay that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed the new chapter! It wasn't super plot heavy but it's setting up some things for future chapters and this seemed like a good place to break. I'll try to have more for you soon!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible trigger warning: mentions of past rape. It's not graphic but it's there. Just a head's up if you think that might bother you. I'll put more details in the end notes if you want to check there before reading the chapter.

It was another few days before they encountered the next setback.

The situation started off innocently enough. Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Gabriel had just finished lunch and they were all sitting around the map table talking and enjoying a beer. Dean was sharing a story about a guy he saw at the grocery store that morning and that was when things went south.

“I’m telling you, this dude was short enough that when he was on his knees I almost didn't see him at all.”

“Well with how tall we are that's not a big surprise,” Sam laughed. “Everyone might as well be on their knees for us. Things wouldn't look that different.” Sam was too caught up in his laughing to notice how Gabriel tensed up beside him. 

Before anyone else had a chance to say anything Gabriel dropped out of his chair to kneel on the floor. He moved a little closer to Sam's chair and then started pawing at the hunter's belt with shaking hands. He managed to get the belt undone and was working on getting the jeans open before Sam shook off his shock.

“Woah, woah, what's happening?” Sam asked, grabbing Gabriel's hands to keep him from doing anything more. Sam looked down at Gabriel and noticed the archangel was shaking and had his eyes closed tightly to hold back tears. Pieces started coming together in Sam's mind but he didn't like the picture they were making.

“You alright, Sammy?” Dean asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, we're okay,” Sam replied, being careful to keep his voice steady. “Dean, could you and Cas give us some space for a few minutes?”

“What? No way. What's going on?” Sam dropped down to the floor to hold Gabriel who looked like he was on the verge of a full blown panic attack.

“Please, Dean. Just ten minutes. I'll explain later.”

“But…"

“Come, Dean,” Castiel cut in. He had made the same conclusion as Sam and agreed that giving Gabriel space would help. “I promise that both your brother and Gabriel are safe.”

“Thanks guys.” Sam just held Gabriel silently until he could no longer hear any footsteps. “Oh, Gabriel,” Sam said with a soft sigh. He took a deep breath to steady himself and then pulled back so that he could see the archangel’s face. “Alright, I'm going to ask you a question, Gabe, and I need you to answer honestly. Okay? I won't judge you or punish you but I need the truth. Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah,” the archangel answered. The word was uttered so quietly Sam almost didn't hear it.

“Did Metatron rape you?”

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

“You think they’re alright?” Dean asked. He’d gone down to the storage room with Castiel because he needed something to occupy his mind.

“Gabriel is hurting but I’m not sure how deeply,” Castiel admitted. It was hard for him to see his brother dealing with so much trauma. Sometimes the archangel would flinch if Cas so much as looked at him a certain way. “I think he can recover though with the proper care.”

“Our lives are so weird, man,” the hunter said with a small laugh. “I mean, we’re playing doctor to an archangel. In what world is that normal?”

“Yours and your brother’s apparently.”

“Hey, buddy, you’re part of this too,” Dean joked. “Alright. Guess we should do some work if we’re here. Organize some things or whatever.”

“Of course,” Castiel said. “What can I do?”

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

Back in the war room Sam and Gabriel were still sitting on the floor. The hunter was silent and the archangel was trying to remember to keep breathing. 

“Gabe?” Sam asked quietly. “Gabe, I understand this is hard for you. I can’t begin to imagine exactly what you’re going through. I know that, but I need you to talk to me. Or at least talk to someone.” Sam closed his eyes and leaned his face down against the top of Gabriel’s head.

“What do you want me to say?” Gabriel asked suddenly after another minute of silence. With a growl he shook Sam off and quickly stood up. “Yes, Metatron raped me. Alright? Are you happy now? Now that you know my secret?” he shouted.

“Gabe…”

“Don’t ‘Gabe’ me, Winchester. I’m not some weak, little, human. I don’t need your pity. I’m fine.”

“No. You’re not,” Sam said, standing back up slowly. “But that’s okay. It’s okay to hurt sometimes, Gabe. Even if you’re an almighty archangel. I won’t think less of you for it. Neither will Dean or Cas.” Gabriel took a deep, shuddering breath.

“You don’t have a clue what I’m dealing with, Sam.”

“So tell me,” he pleaded. The archangel balled his hands into tight fists.

“Why? Why do you care? Why are you doing any of this?” He finally asked. The questions had been running through his mind constantly since he’d first woken up in the bunker. It didn’t make sense and the last thing he needed was someone else trying to use him for their own purposes.

“Because you’re important to me, Gabe,” Sam admitted. “Yeah we had our disagreements before but in the end you stood up for what was right and basically laid down your life for us. That makes you a part of this crazy, dysfunctional family we’ve got, and family members support each other.”

“Wow, Sam. That was deep,” Gabriel said mockingly. Sam stood silently, waiting to see what Gabriel would do. After a minute the archangel rolled his eyes and sighed. 

“Metatron craved power,” he finally said, eyes trained on the ground. “First he worked with me. Then he started to sort of lead me. Then he trapped me and tried to control me as much as he could. Apparently that wasn’t enough though. I didn’t “break enough” I guess. So he started to use me. How better to make someone feel insignificant than to force them to sexually please you?”

“So when I said everyone should be on their knees…”

“It triggered a bit of a subconscious reaction, yeah.” Gabriel ran his hands through his hair. “He’d, uh…he’d make me blow him when I did something wrong. He’d use me like that to remind me who was boss. And being an archangel, even with trapped grace, he didn’t have to worry about me breathing or gagging so he could be rough.”

“Gabriel, look, man…”

“Are we done, here?” Gabriel asked, his serious masks back in place. “I think I’ve bared my soul, or whatever you want to call it, enough for one day, don’t you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course. Whatever you want,” Sam said. He wanted to know more. Wanted to make Gabriel talk things out but he knew if he pushed too much the archangel would just shut down and turn away. “Let me know if you need anything.”

Gabriel didn’t look at Sam again as he left the room. He walked down to his bedroom and slammed the door.

Sam sighed and turned to lean his hands down on the table. Things were worse than he originally thought and he wasn’t totally sure how they were going to deal with all of it. Healing wasn’t always fast though, he knew that from experience. So he would be patient. It was all he could really do, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explanation of trigger warning: Gabriel tries to take of Sam's pants mistakenly thinking he expects a blowjob. Sam then sits down and asks him about what happens and Gabe shares that Metatron sometimes forced him to do that when he didn't follow orders.
> 
> This issue will probably come up again later in the story but I don't have plans to get too graphic about it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry for the wait. I finally sat down and wrote out a general plan for the rest of the story though so hopefully that means I’ll be able to get the remaining chapters out a little faster. I'm on a trip right now though (starting with a Supernatural Convention!) so give me a little time, haha. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

“I don’t know what to do, Cas,” Sam said the next day. Dean and Gabriel were off somewhere in the bunker doing their own things while Sam and the seraph were talking over a cup of coffee in the library.

“You need to get Gabriel to open up,” Castiel answered. “He seems to be more willing to talk to you than to Dean or me.”

“Yeah but he’s an archangel for crying out loud. Even not at full power he could probably smite me with a wave of his hand.” Gabriel had been healing well and his grace was steadily getting stronger. He still needed to sleep sometimes but not as much as before and he could use his grace occasionally for little things like healing small scrapes or making a himself new outfit.

“He won’t hurt you. You’ve been there before. I’m sure you know how much it hurts to hold all the pain and fear inside. Deep down he wants to talk about it, he just doesn’t know how,” the seraph explained. 

“I guess you’re right.”

“What are we talking about?” Dean asked as he walked into the room. He had a cup of coffee in his hand and sat down immediately next to Castiel, even though there were other seats open. Sam barely managed to hide his smirk.

“Gabriel,” the younger Winchester answered. “Cas thinks I should be more firm in my efforts to get him to talk about what happened.”

“Probably the way to go. He’s almost stubborn enough to be a Winchester,” Dean joked.

“Alright, alright,” Sam said, holding up his hands in defeat. “I’ll talk to him about it.”

“Talk to who about what?” Gabriel asked, suddenly joining the group. Castiel and Dean both turned to look at Sam, letting him handle things.

“Oh, uh, talk to you about what to do for dinner tonight,” Sam said, glaring at his brother and friend. It wasn’t a great recovery but it was the first thing he thought of.

“I don’t really care,” the archangel said with a shrug. He looked over and saw how close Dean and Castiel were sitting and tilted his head slightly but decided not to bring it up. “Want me to help cook? Feel like I’m supposed to be ‘doing my part’ or whatever.”

“Sure, that would be great if you’re interested,” Sam answered. “Maybe we can go out to the store a little later. You haven’t been out that much since you got here and I don’t know how much is left in the pantry.”

“Alright. Fine with me.”

“Cool. We can go after I eat and shower.” The hunter felt a little awkward but he noticed Castiel sending him a small smile so he figured he must be doing something right.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

“So what should we make?” Sam asked as he and Gabriel walked into the supermarket. Sam grabbed a cart and list of what items were on sale. Gabriel made a thoughtful noise.

“How about chicken parmesan with sides of pasta and garlic roasted green beans,” he suggested after a minute. “Nothing too fancy or difficult but still a nice full meal. You and your brother can put away a lot of food.”

“You aren’t wrong,” Sam responded with a laugh. “That sounds great. “I know we have some boxes of pasta at the bunker and should have a can of sauce but we’ll need to buy everything else you just mentioned.”

“Let’s get to it then.” They walked down the different aisles and picked up everything they’d need for dinner as well as enough food so they would be stocked for two or three weeks.

“Thanks for coming out with me,” Sam said to Gabriel when they were in the car driving back to the bunker. “It’s nice to have company for once. Usually Dean or I just go on our own.”

“Yeah, no problem,” the archangel said in return. He turned to look out the window and seemed deep in thought so Sam didn’t say anything else. When they got back to the bunker Dean and Cas were working in the storage room together.

“Hey guys,” Dean said when his younger brother and the archangel popped their heads into the room. “Cas and I already had lunch so feel free to eat whenever.” Sam just said a simple ‘okay’ in response and then turned and headed to the kitchen.

“Do they do that often?” Gabriel asked suddenly while Sam was putting together a sandwich.

“What? Organize the storage room?” the human asked. “Not really. Although they may be doing more than that but they think I don’t notice,” he added with a smirk.

“No. Do they just do stuff without you and leave you to fend for yourself often?” Gabriel clarified, ignoring Sam’s comment for the time being.

“Um, kind of. It’s not a big deal though,” Sam said honestly. “We’re all adults and we spend a lot of time with each other though so it’s not like I expect us to eat every meal together.”

“Still. Seems like you get the short end of the stick and get stuck on your own a lot.”

“Seriously, it’s not a big deal. I know Dean cares about me and all.”

“If you say so, Samalam,” Gabriel replied, not entirely convinced.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

Sam rolled over and looked at the clock next to his bed. It was only three in the morning but he couldn’t seem to get back to sleep. He stayed under the covers for another minute before he sighed and got out of bed. He stretched and slipped a shirt on and then padded to the kitchen. Maybe some chamomile tea would help sooth his restless mind. It worked sometimes.

“Oh, hey, Gabriel,” Sam said with surprise. He hadn’t expected to find the archangel in the kitchen. “Bored?” He knew Gabriel didn’t need to sleep every night so it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing if he was awake at such an early hour.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Gabriel admitted. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Sam asked as he filled the teapot with water and set it on the stove to boil.

“Not really.” Sam took a deep breath, trying to gather the courage to follow through with what Castiel told him earlier that day.

“Wanna talk about it anyway?” Gabriel huffed.

“What’s with you Winchesters and trying to get me to talk? You’re brother gave me a schpiel a while ago too.”

“We’ve just been there before,” Sam answered without turning around. “I mean not exactly where you are obviously but all traumatic situations are basically the same at their core.”

“And you think talking about it will help?”

“Yeah, I do.” He finally looked around and met Gabriel’s gaze. “It may sound strange but talking to someone really does help. Nightmares and flashbacks and stuff like that are partially caused because it’s your subconscious fighting back. You’re trying to bury the memories and that’s not helpful. Getting things off your chest will give them less power over you.”

“You gonna force me to talk to you?” Gabriel asked, his resolve already cracking. As much as he pretended otherwise, he had found talking to be helpful before, and if he had to choose between talking to Castiel, Dean Winchester, or Sam Winchester, Sam would be his pick. There were a few reasons behind that decision but he didn’t feel like sharing any of them.

“I won’t force you.” Sam took the boiling pot of water off the burner and poured it’s contents into the waiting mug. “I will strongly encourage you to talk though. If you’d rather talk to Cas or Dean that’s fine too.” He took his tea and the bottle of honey over and sat down across from Gabriel.

“Alright, fine.” Gabriel sighed. “I don’t want to talk to either of our brothers so I guess you’ll have to do,” he snarked. Sam remained silent, figuring Gabriel would start talking when he was ready. “Not sure if you know this, but when an angel dies they don’t go anywhere. They just kind of cease to exist.”

“But you didn’t die though,” Sam couldn’t stop the interruption. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Gabriel replied, waving him off. “You’re right. I was very, very close to death though so I kind of went to this limbo place. Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory,” he explained.

“The Empty,” Sam guessed.

“How do you know about that?” There was a look of dismay on the archangel’s face.

“There’s a reaper who isn’t too happy with us. She’s threatened that next time we die it’ll be final and her hand will slip and we’ll go to the empty.”

“Who?!” Gabriel asked, slamming his hands down on the table. “You and your brother are both going to heaven and I won’t hear anything different. Archangel outranks reaper any day.” Before Sam could reply Gabriel realized what had happened and instantly calmed down. “Anyway…yes, I was in the empty. It wasn’t that bad though. Would be worse for a human. Still wasn’t a fun place to hang out though. So that’s one of the things I have nightmares about. The lack of anything. You can’t even properly imagine what it felt like.” 

“And that was just the beginning,” Sam said softly, already a little shocked at what he was hearing.

“Yeah.” Gabriel and Sam continued talking for nearly an hour and a half. Sam was starting to doze off near the end but he forced himself to stay focused. The archangel went into more detail on what the healing process was like and talked a little more about the things he did with Metatron, some voluntary and some forced on him. Sam could tell that there were still some things that Gabriel was holding back but that was only natural. They were making a huge amount of progress and that was enough for the moment.

“I’m so sorry, Gabriel,” Sam said when it was clear the archangel was done for the night. 

“I said I don’t want your pity!” Gabriel snapped, making Sam flinch. “Sorry. I know you were just trying to help,” he admitted. “I guess I’ve been kind of an ass to you recently.

“It’s fine.”

“No, it isn’t. You’re going so far out of your way to help me, someone you don’t even like, and all I’ve done in return is act closed off and snap at you.”

“Thanks, Gabe,” Sam replied with a small smile. “I know this is hard for you. I won’t give up on you though.” The hunter let out a large yawn and then laughed a little. “How about we just start with going back to bed?”

“Sounds good to me, Samsquatch.” Sam put his mug in the sink, he could wash it later, and left the kitchen with Gabriel, turning off the lights on his way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Billie didn't threaten to send Sam and Dean to the Empty until season 11 which is technically after when this story is set. I felt like it fit the story though so I used a little artistic liberty. Just pretend that conversation happened earlier.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Gabriel's not the only one who is a little broken.

Another week passed without any major incidents. Gabriel still had nightmares sometimes though and his late night chats with Sam became a somewhat regular thing.

“How would you feel about going out to dinner tomorrow?” Sam asked during one of these chats.

“Don’t you mean later today?” Gabriel replied with a small laugh. He pointed to the time on the cell phone Sam had bought him. It was well after midnight so ‘tomorrow’ was officially ‘today.’ Sam chuckled.

“Well, yeah,” he said. “I guess I do.”

“Um…yeah I guess that’s okay, Sambo,” Gabriel said after some time to think. While he’d been outside the bunker multiple times since he’d shown up he still hadn’t spent any significant amount of time in public. Sam felt like it was about time he push the archangel to get over that barrier.

“Cas, Dean, and I will be there too. We aren’t just sending you out on your own,” Sam said, hoping it would be reassuring. The archangel simply rolled his eyes.

“I figured. I’ll be fine, Sam.”

“Okay. Cool. Later when everyone’s up we can pick a restaurant to go to.”

“Sure. You know me; I’m good with anything.”

“Sounds good.” Sam finished his tea and let out a big yawn. “Alright, I think that’s it for me. How are you feeling.”

“Better,” Gabriel admitted. “Thanks.” He reached across the table and swiped Sam’s mug.

“I was gonna clean that,” Sam protested.

“You’re practically falling asleep in your chair, Gigantor,” the archangel teased. “Go to bed. I can handle washing two mugs.”

“Thanks, Gabe,” Sam said with a sleepy smile. “See you later.”

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

Dean looked in the Impala’s rearview mirror and chuckled while he shook his head.

“What’s so funny?” Sam asked.

“Just thinking about how crazy our lives are,” the older Winchester explained. “I mean we’re driving a seraph and an archangel to dinner.”

“I highly doubt this is the craziest thing you’ve done, Deano,” Gabriel chipped in from the back seat as Dean was pulling out of the garage. “In fact I know it’s not because I put you and Sam into some pretty strange situations,” he added with a laugh.

“Like turning me into a car?” Sam deadpanned.

“What can I say? You look good with chrome,” Gabriel said with a wink. Sam rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything in response.

The drive to the restaurant passed quickly and soon enough the four men were being led to a booth. They had decided to go to a local Italian place since that Sam and Dean both really enjoyed and they knew the angels would be fine with anything. When the waitress brought them to the booth in the restaurant Castiel slid in first and Dean immediately sat down next to him, leaving Sam and Gabriel to sit together.

“Do you want the inside or the outside, Sam?” Gabriel asked to be polite.

“What?” Sam asked, suddenly feeling flustered. He felt a hint of heat rising in his cheeks. Gabriel cocked an eyebrow and hid his sly smile.

“The seats, Sam,” he clarified. “How do you want to sit in the booth?”

“Oh,” the hunter said, trying to act natural. “Outside I guess. That way you and Cas can be across from each other.” Gabriel shrugged and slid into the booth and Sam followed a few seconds after. The hunter quickly opened his menu so that he had something else to focus on while he worked on getting relaxed again. He could sense Dean’s eyes on him but he ignored it.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

“So this one time, in Egypt, I almost got sent to prison because I confused my camel with the camel that belonged to one of the Prince’s top guards,” Gabriel shared over dessert. Sam was pleasantly surprised how well adapted the archangel had been throughout the meal. Being out in public could be overwhelming sometimes, especially for someone dealing with past trauma but Gabriel was doing well for the most part. “And then…” Gabriel trailed off when he noticed Dean and Cas weren’t really paying attention. The hunter was trying to explain to the angel why his sorbet was served in the fruit instead of a bowl. Gabriel turned to look at Sam and shook his head before looking back at the table and enjoying his tiramisu.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

That night, for whatever reason, Sam couldn’t get to sleep. He’d never told Dean but ever since his time in hell there were some days he just didn’t sleep at all. It didn’t happen too often though. Missing a night of sleep every few weeks or months wasn’t really that big of a deal. He got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. Gabriel wasn’t there so at least one of them was sleeping.

Sam turned on the stove and put a pot of water on to make some tea. Dean might tease him for it but it usually helped him feel more tired though it probably wouldn’t matter that night. Couldn’t hurt to try though. He walked over to the cabinet to find a snack and didn’t realize there was a towel a little too close to the stove. When he turned back around the corner of the towel was burning and there was a small flame starting.

“Shit,” he said as he quickly crossed the kitchen. He grabbed the towel and went to throw it in the sink but one of the sparks shot up and hit his arm.

Suddenly Sam was back in the Cage. Everything was on fire. He was burning up but his body wasn’t disintegrating. He just stayed whole so the fire could continue to consume him. The flames were everywhere and he knew there was no way to escape. All he could do was scream but even that was useless because there wasn’t anyone around to hear him and try to help. Lucifer was there but he was the one doing this and Sam knew he wouldn’t stop anytime soon.

“…am. Sam. Sam!” Gabriel shouted, tossing some water in the hunter’s face to snap him out of it. “Sam, you’re okay. Look at me. Can you open your eyes?” It took a few seconds but eventually Sam was able to blink and look around. Somehow he had ended up spread out on the kitchen floor.

“What happened?” the hunter asked, slowly sitting up and inching back to lean against the counter.

“Hell if I know, kiddo,” Gabriel responded. “I left my room and heard screaming so I ran in as quick as I could. I found you on the floor screaming that you were on fire but I didn’t see anything wrong. I tried to get your attention but it didn’t work. That’s why I got the water. I thought that maybe if you thought you were on fire then water would snap you out of it.”

“I…I was back in the Cage,” Sam said. “Or at least I thought it was.”

“I’m sorry, you were where?”

“Lucifer’s Cage,” Sam clarified. “In Hell.”

“How do you even know about that?” Gabriel quickly turned the stove off and sat down in front of Sam.

“I was there after I said yes to Lucifer.”

“Hold on, back up for a minute. You said yes to Lucifer?!”

“I thought you knew what happened,” Sam said, a little confused. When Gabriel shook his head Sam gave a quick summary of how things had gone down when they stopped the apocalypse.

“Wow,” Gabriel said, completely shocked. “I knew about some of that but not all of the details. That’s insane.”

“It’s in the past. Nothing to do about it now,” Sam replied, brushing it off. He stood up and ran a hand through his hair. “Well now I’m definitely not getting to sleep. I think I’ll go back to my room and read or something.” The hunter knew that he should be helping the archangel but he wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone.

“I can help if you want,” Gabriel offered before Sam got too far.

“What?” the hunter asked, turning back around.

“I can help. I’ve got enough grace back. I could knock you out the angel way. It’s totally safe and it would let you sleep,” the archangel explained. “Don’t even try to tell me you don’t need to sleep. I can tell that you’re exhausted.” Sam wanted to argue but he had to admit that Gabriel had a point. He was tired.

“Fine. I’ll be in my room,” he said before turning and walking out.

Gabriel continued to sit in the kitchen for a few minutes. He couldn’t believe what Sam had gone through. Sacrificing yourself for a cause was one thing, going to Hell was another, but going to the Cage? Gabriel wouldn’t wish that punishment on anyone. Not even Lucifer himself.

“What else are you hiding, kiddo?” he asked sadly. With a deep breath to focus himself Gabriel stood up, turned out the kitchen lights, and walked down the hall to Sam’s room. He might not be able to change the past but at least Gabriel could provide Sam with some peaceful sleep for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close to the end guys. I hope you're still enjoying the story so far!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to keep this from being too cliché. Hopefully I managed to do that.

The days were getting longer and the weather was getting warmer so one night Gabriel suggested they all go outside and relax around a campfire. He was able to snap up the marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers and Sam and Dean took care of building the fire. Castiel was put in charge of gathering drinks and blankets as well as a bucket of water to put out the fire when they were done. Even though they were with two angels, Sam and Dean didn’t want to rely on their powers and potentially risk starting a massive fire so it was smart to have the water just in case.

“I haven’t had s’mores in ages,” Dean said, roasting his first marshmallow.

“So what is a s’more exactly?” Cas asked. He poked at the marshmallow that was on the end of the stick Dean had given him.

“It’s a classic camping snack,” Sam said. “How did Metatron give you all of that pop culture knowledge but not teach you about s’mores?” He noticed Gabriel tense up at the mention of the ex-Scribe of God and frowned. “Sorry, Gabe.”

“It’s fine,” the archangel said dismissively. “Let’s just talk about something else.”

“Right. Back to introducing Cas to the finer things in life,” Dean said with a laugh.

“That I can do,” Gabriel responded. He smiled, trying to look like he felt better than he actually did. Dean turned his marshmallow some, not worrying when it caught on fire a little bit.

“Dude, how long are you cooking that for?” Sam asked, disgusted by his brother’s tastes. Sam liked his marshmallows nicely brown and evenly toasted. Dean liked them charred and crispy.

“Alright, Cas. Just put the stick in the fire until the marshmallow gets toasted,” Dean explained. His treat was significantly burned at that point so he pulled the marshmallow from the stick and completed his s’more. 

“Why are we using branches for this?” Cas asked, staring intently at his stick in the fire. “It is my understanding that humans aren’t able to eat trees.”

“It’s part of the tradition, Cassie,” Gabriel told his brother. “Plus it adds flavor.”

It took some more encouragement but eventually the boys got Castiel to make and eat his first ever s’more.

“And the verdict is?” Dean prompted.

“It tastes like molecules,” Castiel said. “Chewier molecules than usual though. Is that why you enjoy it?” Dean frowned, Gabriel groaned, and Sam just laughed.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

“I think I might call it a night,” Dean said a few hours later. “You staying up, Sammy?”

“Yeah, I’ll hang out a little more,” Sam answered.

“I think I will turn in as well, Dean,” Castiel spoke up. Sam took a sip of beer to hide his smirk.

“Cool.” Dean was glad it was dark so Sam couldn’t see the slight blush in his cheeks. He and Castiel gathered their trash and went back inside the bunker.

“I wonder when Dean’s going to realize that he’s terrible at hiding things,” Sam joked once his brother was gone. Gabriel chuckled.

“Yeah they aren’t incredibly subtle,” he agreed. “Do you think anything’s actually happened yet?”

“Not sure. As long as I don’t hear it though I don’t really care,” Sam replied. He threw another branch into the fire to keep it burning and then popped a piece of chocolate in his mouth.

“What about you?” Gabe asked after a minute.

“Huh?”

“Is there a pretty lady you’ve got your eye on?” the archangel clarified. “Or a handsome fellow. I don’t judge.” Sam huffed a laugh.

“Uh, no. Not really,” he said. “I tried a few times. Never seemed to work out so well with the hunting life though,” he admitted.

“I guess that makes sense. It's not too easy as an immortal archangel either apparently.” Sam wasn’t sure how to respond to that. It seemed like an invitation but he wasn’t really sure so he decided to just move on.

“How have you been feeling?” the hunter asked.

“I’m making progress,” Gabriel replied. “Still rough around the edges though.”

“This stuff takes time,” Sam explained. “That’s not just talk by the way. I’ve been there. I know what it feels like to recover from trauma.”

“I still can’t believe some of the stuff you’ve told me.”

“Yeah. It sounds pretty crazy to me sometimes too.” Gabriel hummed and then he and Sam were quiet, laying back and looking at the stars.

After a few minutes Sam took a deep breath and then stood up. He added branches to the fire to make sure it continued to burn before walking over to Gabriel’s blanket and laying down next to him. Sam left some space between them but they were definitely closer than they had been before.

“Sam?” Gabriel asked, clearly a little surprised as he turned his head to look at the hunter next to him.

“Uh…hey, Gabe,” Sam said awkwardly. “Is…is this okay?” Gabriel didn’t answer right away and Sam started to get scared that he had completely misread things. Finally though the archangel spoke up.

“Yeah. Yeah it’s fine with me,” he said honestly. Sam gave a small smile and then shifted his gaze back to the stars.

They continued laying there silently for a little while. Both of them had things they wanted to say but were too scared of the possible rejection to actually say them. 

“So…” Sam started to say something but got cut off by a huge yawn.

“I think it’s time for you to get to bed, Sammoose,” Gabriel teased. 

“Yeah it might be time for that,” Sam admitted. He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Wanna help me clean up or are you turning in?”

“I can help. Not going to leave you high and dry.” Sam put out the fire and bagged up the rest of the trash while Gabriel folded up the blankets everyone had been sitting on.

“Thanks for tonight,” Sam told Gabriel once they were back inside the bunker.

“I didn’t really do anything.”

“Maybe not but it was your idea.” Sam gave a small smile. He didn’t want to admit how much he was starting to get used to the archangel’s presence in his life.

“I usually accept kisses as payments but I don’t know if we’re there yet,” Gabriel joked playfully. “I’ll see you in the morning, Sam.” He gave a small wave and started to turn away.

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Sam said. His voice was a bit quiet but he knew the archangel would be able to hear him.

“Seriously?” Gabriel asked, turning back to look at the hunter. Sam simply shrugged. He’d never been the best at romantic stuff but now he was rusty and out of practice on top of it.

“Yeah.” Sam took a few steps forward so he was right in front of Gabriel. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Gabriel echoed. He looked up at Sam because the moose of a man in front him was incredibly tall. Sam carefully brought a hand up and placed it lightly on Gabriel’s cheek.

“Still okay?” the hunter asked as he started to lean down.

“Definitely still okay,” the archangel said with a small smile. Sam smiled back and then his lips were on Gabriel’s. They moved slowly and kept things simple, but it was still amazing. 

“Wow,” Sam said quietly when he moved back. “Um…uh…I guess…” Suddenly he felt incredibly flustered. “I should go to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” He didn’t really wait to hear Gabriel’s response before he headed down the hall to his room. He wasn’t usually the type to kiss and run but he also didn’t usually kiss archangels so he figured he was entitled to a small freakout. 

“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” Gabriel replied, looking down at the ground. “What are you doing to me, kiddo?” The archangel stood there for another moment before he sighed, turned out the lights, and went to his room to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had expected to have a little more in this chapter but this felt like a better place to end.
> 
> Feedback makes my day!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've made it to the end! Thank you so much to all of you for reading this fic, commenting on it, and giving it kudos. You've all been so supportive and it really means a lot. That said, I hope you enjoy this final chapter. :)

[Two months later]

More time had passed and Gabriel was doing a lot better. His grace was almost back to full power and his nightmares had become much less frequent. He still had the occasional flashback or panic attack but, for what he’d gone through, he was recovering impressively quickly. Perks of being an archangel.

The only thing that hadn’t progressed was the relationship between him and Sam. Neither of them had said anything about the kiss they had shared since it had happened. They had made some type of silent agreement to just act naturally. Despite their best efforts, however, things were a little off after that.

“Gabriel?” Castiel asked one afternoon, stepping outside of the bunker. “Are you—Oh, there you are,” the angel said when he saw Gabriel sitting on the ground with his knees up to his chest and his arms crossed on top of them.

“Hey, bro,” Gabriel said without turning around. “Need something?”

“Sam wanted to know if you were planning to join us for lunch.”

“Nah, I’m alright, Cassie. Thanks though.”

“Is everything alright, Gabriel?” Cas asked, taking a few steps closer to his brother. 

“Yeah,” Gabriel answered. “Everything’s fine.”

“You do not seem fine,” Castiel said bluntly. “You’ve been off for a while now actually.” Gabriel turned and glared at the seraph standing next to him.

“You’re too perceptive for your own good.” Castiel was silent, knowing Gabriel would open up when he was ready. Finally the archangel sighed. “It’s Sam,” he said.

“I have noticed the tension between you recently,” Cas admitted. “Did something happen?”

“We…uh…we kissed.”

“I was not aware that Sam was interested in men as well as women.”

“That’s it?” Gabriel asked, a little shocked.

“What?”

“That’s your reaction?” Gabriel explained. “You aren’t concerned that I’ve fallen for a human, my brother’s destined vessel no less, or that archangels were never given express permission to bond, or that intimate relations between angels and humans are partially illegal? All you’re worried about is that you didn’t know Sam was bi?” Castiel shrugged.

“To my knowledge father never told you, or the other archangels, that you couldn’t bond so that is not an issue, Lucifer is in the Cage, and the problem with relations between angels and humans is the possibility of a nephilim being born but you and Sam would not be able to birth children.”

“Oh,” Gabriel said petulantly. 

“Is that truly what’s bothering you, brother?”

“Have I mentioned you’re too perceptive?”

“Once or twice,” Castiel said with a small smirk. “What’s really bothering you, Gabriel?”

“I’m…I’m scared.”

“Of?”

“Everything. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.” Gabriel groaned. “Good grief, I sound like a lovesick teenager.” He groaned again and put his head in his hands.

“I think you should speak to Sam,” Castiel suggested. “You may find you have less to fear than you think.”

“Aren’t you the younger brother here? I’m supposed to be giving you advice, not the other way around.”

“Not this time.” Cas turned and headed back to the bunker’s door. “Are you sure you do not wish to join us for lunch?”

“Yeah. I’m alright,” Gabriel said. “Thanks, Cassie,” he added when Castiel was almost out of hearing range.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

“Yo!” Dean nearly shouted. “Earth to Sam.”

“What?” Sam asked, shaking his head. “Sorry, I must have zoned out.”

“You’ve been starring at that bookshelf for ten minutes.”

“I have?”

“Yeah.” Dean shook his head and plopped down in an armchair. “What’s going on with you, man? You’ve seemed off for weeks now.”

“I’m fine,” Sam replied simply. Dean didn’t say anything, just looked at Sam with one of his bitch faces to show he wasn’t believing any of it. Sam sighed. “It’s Gabriel.”

“Just tell him how you feel already.”

“What?” Sam asked, completely shocked. He hadn’t thought he’d done anything to make his attraction obvious to anyone.

“Seriously, dude? You’ve been making goo-goo eyes at the pixie almost since he showed up here,” Dean explained. “Anything happen between you two yet?”

“We…uh…we kissed.”

“That’s my boy,” Dean said proudly; a suggestive look on his face.

“Shut up,” Sam said with a roll of his eyes.

“Alright, alright. So what’s the problem? You like him and he likes you.”

“It’s not that simple, Dean.”

“Why not?” Dean asked. “When did this kiss happen, anyway?”

“The night when we all made a campfire.”

“It’s been two months? What the hell have you been doing?”

“Avoiding it mostly,” Sam answered, eyes downcast. He stepped back from the bookshelf and sat down in one of the wooden chairs.

“What’s really bothering you, Sam? I haven’t seen you this interested in someone in a long time. I’d think you’d be happy.”

“I don’t know. I guess I’m scared,” Sam admitted.

“Of?”

“Everything. I mean, he’s an archangel for crying out loud. I’m just the boy with the demon blood. It’s a miracle I didn’t combust when I kissed him.” He groaned and put his head in his hands.

“I think you need to talk to Gabe,” Dean suggested. “Have a heart-to-heart and braid each other’s hair or whatever it is you crazy kids like to do.” Sam looked back up.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he admitted.

“Seriously, dude. If you guys don’t talk this out on your own I’m going to lock you both a closet and not let you out until you do,” Dean said with a laugh.

“Please don’t,” Sam begged. Dean stood up and put a supportive hand on Sam’s shoulder.

“You good?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Sam said. “Thanks, Dean.”

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

“I think I need a break from all this research. My eyes are swimming,” Sam said, looking up from the book he had been reading. He, Dean, Castiel, and Gabriel were all in the library researching a possible case they had gotten a call about.

“Same here,” Dean agreed. “Hey, I’ve got an idea. We should have something special for dinner. To celebrate Gabe’s recovery and all. Cas and I can go to that Chinese place we love so much but never go to and you and Gabe can stay here and clean up.”

“Dean that restaurant is like thirty minutes away,” Sam said. “That’s why we hardly ever go.”

“I know but it’s only four thirty. If we leave soon we’ll still be back at a normal time for dinner,” Dean explained. He stood up and motioned for Castiel to join him.  
“Alright, cool. Come on, Cas. Let’s get going.”

Suddenly Sam and Gabriel were left alone, staring at each other from across the library table. Sam had one of his patented bitch faces but his brother wasn’t even in the room to see it.

“They aren’t very subtle,” Gabe said quietly. Ever since he and Sam had kissed things had been awkward between them and he hated it. As much as he didn’t like being tricked into talking with the hunter, he knew it was something that needed to happen.

“It’s not usually one of Dean’s strengths, no,” Sam agreed. He sighed. “I guess they want us to talk.”

“Yeah. So…um…about what happened…”

“I don’t regret it,” Sam cut in. “That’s probably what you think but I swear I don’t.”

“Then why did you run away and not say anything for the last two months?” Gabriel asked, trying to keep his annoyance in check. “Kind of hard to interpret that any other way, kiddo.”

“I don’t know. I just got overwhelmed,” Sam admitted. Looking back on how he had acted he felt a little ashamed. “You’re so powerful and holy and I’m just a weak human who used to be addicted to drinking demon blood.” Gabriel stood up and moved to sit on the edge of the table near Sam.

“Do you remember when I had that nightmare the first night I was here?” the archangel asked.

“I don’t know what that has to do with anything, but yeah, I remember.”

“You told me I needed to trust you and I said ‘of course I trust you.’ Ring a bell?” Sam still didn’t know where this was going but he nodded his head when he remembered what Gabriel was talking about. “We’ve always had a special connection. Kind of like soul mates but with less destiny involved. It’s tough to explain.”

“But I’m just…”

“I know.” Gabriel cut Sam off before the human could make any more self deprecating comments. “What I’m trying to say is that all of that stuff doesn’t matter. I still have a connection to you, kiddo. I hated knowing that you were my brother’s vessel. I didn’t think I’d be able to handle watching you wither under his darkness. That was part of why I sacrificed myself. I didn’t want to be around for the aftermath.”

“So when you came back and found out I was okay, you were actually happy about it?”

“Exactly.” Gabriel shot Sam a small smile. “You’re not just some ordinary human, Sam. I think you know that by now. Yeah, you got addicted to demon blood but that wasn’t entirely your fault because you were force fed blood as a baby. Almost impossible not to start craving it after that.”

“I may not be ordinary but I still wouldn’t think I’d be good enough for an archangel.”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” Gabriel insisted. “Sam you are amazing and I care about you so much. I thought I was the one who needed to be scared of rejection.”

“What did you have to be scared of?” Sam asked, shocked at what he was hearing.

“You and I don’t exactly have the best history. I didn’t think you’d ever be able to care for me,” Gabriel explained. “That’s why I didn’t believe you were honest this whole time about wanting to help me.”

“I might not have liked you before but I forgave you for all of that stuff ages ago,” Sam admitted. He was quiet for a few minutes and so was Gabriel; both deep in thought.

“Sam, will you…” Gabriel took a deep breath. He hated feeling nervous like this. “Will you bond with me?”

“Huh?”

“Will you bond with me?” Gabriel repeated. “It’s how angels mate. Think of it like human marriage but way more permanent and meaningful. Only say yes if you truly care about me and think you’ll continue to for eternity.”

“What’s involved?”

“There are two parts. First is the ceremony aspect where we would pledge ourselves to each other and I would mark you. If we were both angels we would mark each other but you’re human so it’s a little different. Don’t worry, other angels will still be able to tell that I’m bonded to someone. They just won’t be able to easily identify who it is.”

“That all sounds okay. What’s this mark look like?”

“My handprint. Burned into your skin and soul.”

“Wait but Cas and Dean…”

“Had a partial bond. They never consummated it though so it went away when Castiel died in the cemetery.” Gabriel had spent a lot of time getting filled in on everything he’d missed the past few years.

“Oh okay. I guess that makes sense,” Sam said. This was a lot of information at once but he was doing his best to follow along. “What’s part two?”

“Consummating it.” Gabriel paused. “Look, Sam, if you’re not sure about this we don’t have to do anything right now. I probably should have waited to ask you about this and…” Sam shut Gabriel up by leaning up and capturing his lips in a passionate kiss.

“Gabe, I’ve been attracted to you since the day we met,” Sam admitted, standing up to be more level with the archangel. “I don’t know if I’ll ever believe that I’m worthy of you, but, if you’ll have me, I would love to bond with you.” Gabriel couldn’t hold back his grin. He wrapped his left hand around Sam’s neck and pulled the man down for another kiss. His other hand slipped under Sam’s shirt and settled on his hip.

“Whenever I’ve pictured this moment,” he said, breaking away from Sam for a minute. “I’ve always thought of my mark being here.” He gave Sam’s hip a squeeze. “Is that okay?”

“That’s perfect,” Sam answered, and he meant it. Something about the placement felt right to him too.

“Last chance, kiddo,” Gabriel warned. “With this bonding, I promise to love and cherish you forever. Do you accept and agree?”

“Yes. I most definitely accept.” Suddenly a searing pain shot through Sam and he felt like he was burning from the inside. Just as he was about to scream out in agony, however, the pain vanished. In it’s place was a warm and loving presence, settling in his heart.

“It’s a small piece of my grace,” Gabriel explained, his eyes closed as he rested his forehead against Sam’s. “Now we’ll always be connected.”

The two men continued to embrace each other for a few minutes in peaceful silence. Basking in the warmth of their newly formed bond. Finally Gabriel pulled away a little and glanced at the clock in the room.

“You know,” he started to say suggestively. “We still have plenty of time to finish step two of the bonding before Deano and Cassie get home.” He wiggled his eyebrows and Sam laughed.

“Well then what are we waiting for?” Sam gave Gabriel one more quick kiss and then pulled the archangel down the hall to his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you'll notice this work now says it's part one of a series. I'm going to write an extended, smutty ending but post it separately so that I can keep the rating here the same.
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter and thanks again for reading!! <3


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